Writing: What Might Be

I did not write yesterday and I've struggled some days to feel like I want to write. It's not that I struggle for ideas, but those ideas often come throughout the day and I don't remember them by the time I get to 9pm and have a free moment to myself. Or, 9pm hits and I have 2 loads of laundry to fold and a husband to talk to and the recognition that morning comes awfully early. Or, I have a book that is due to the library.

And, I have never been my most creative, my most descriptive, my most introspective in the evening. My best writing often happens in the morning.

There is much that I've had to adapt to with marriage and children. With a spouse who often starts work by  7am (when he commutes - rarely these days - leaving by 6:30) and children who wake up early and do not want to be alone, my days are not my own starting at 6:30. Sometimes I get up at 5:45 so that I can fit in some exercise or a shower - and I can do those body-moving things. But my brain takes a little bit to wake up and when I've tried to wake up early to write, I rarely get far before I'm called on to be mom.

As with so many other things, this is but a season of my life. I'm hoping that after tomorrow (the end of the month that I said I'd write frequently) I continue to make and find time to write. Partly because it reminds me later what life is like. Partly because it helps me process what is going on in life. Partly because I sort of like the idea of my words going out into the system and perhaps read by someone somewhere.

I have wondered what it would be like to write a book. To write something that others might read. To have the routine and dedication to come up with and idea and sit and work at it for however long it took to complete it. And then to sit and work it over so that it was clearer and grammatically correct and conveyed my true thoughts. 

Someday, maybe. Or, perhaps I'll continue to periodically journal-blog my thoughts and experiences as they occur.

At least what I read from this blog - going back to it's beginning - is so much less embarrassing than reading my jr high journals.