February's Resolution Begins

As we ease into February, my monthly resolution switches from writing frequently to logging my food intake. More than anything I just want to be more mindful of what I'm putting into my mouth. Today, on day 1, I stopped myself from eating oreos, chips, and a 3rd rice krispie treat (after the 2 I ate) when I didn't really even want food - I just wanted sugar or salt or to be chewing something. 

It's 7:45, and to be honest, the hardest time for me is from when I start cooking supper until I'm upstairs for the night. And, when I have a drink I'm even less likely to stop myself from indulging in sweets and salty unnecessary treats. So, the logging of food is not even so much to keep to a particular calorie count, although the app I use does do that. But more so to be more mindful of what I'm putting in my body.

Writing: What Might Be

I did not write yesterday and I've struggled some days to feel like I want to write. It's not that I struggle for ideas, but those ideas often come throughout the day and I don't remember them by the time I get to 9pm and have a free moment to myself. Or, 9pm hits and I have 2 loads of laundry to fold and a husband to talk to and the recognition that morning comes awfully early. Or, I have a book that is due to the library.

And, I have never been my most creative, my most descriptive, my most introspective in the evening. My best writing often happens in the morning.

There is much that I've had to adapt to with marriage and children. With a spouse who often starts work by  7am (when he commutes - rarely these days - leaving by 6:30) and children who wake up early and do not want to be alone, my days are not my own starting at 6:30. Sometimes I get up at 5:45 so that I can fit in some exercise or a shower - and I can do those body-moving things. But my brain takes a little bit to wake up and when I've tried to wake up early to write, I rarely get far before I'm called on to be mom.

As with so many other things, this is but a season of my life. I'm hoping that after tomorrow (the end of the month that I said I'd write frequently) I continue to make and find time to write. Partly because it reminds me later what life is like. Partly because it helps me process what is going on in life. Partly because I sort of like the idea of my words going out into the system and perhaps read by someone somewhere.

I have wondered what it would be like to write a book. To write something that others might read. To have the routine and dedication to come up with and idea and sit and work at it for however long it took to complete it. And then to sit and work it over so that it was clearer and grammatically correct and conveyed my true thoughts. 

Someday, maybe. Or, perhaps I'll continue to periodically journal-blog my thoughts and experiences as they occur.

At least what I read from this blog - going back to it's beginning - is so much less embarrassing than reading my jr high journals.

Bold Heart

Last year I arrived at a "theme word" for the year. It had been something I'd see others do and wondered if I should do it too, but didn't make much of an effort at finding one for myself. But, last year, as I contemplated what I thought would lie ahead for me in 2020, and as I gazed adoringly at my new coffee maker, I came up with the word bold. Bold is one of the settings I can choose on my coffee maker, but it spoke to me in more ways than just good-tasting coffee. And so, I periodically thought about what it meant to be bold throughout the year. 

This year I received a gift (from myself) of a 1-time subscription box geared toward women in ministry. I may do the 1-time box again, because I received some things I wouldn't necessarily get for myself, but that I think will be nice to have. In the cover of the box was a sticker that said, "The magi were guided by a star. Here is your guiding word for 2021: heart."

And so this year I will be focusing on heart. Perhaps with a bit of the residual bold connected to it.

Piano!

 We got a piano today! For free - apart from the cost of piano movers and tuning. 

I have wanted a piano for a long time. I used to crave playing and would go into whichever church I was serving to play. I haven't had that urge as much in the past few years, but I am very excited to play - perhaps even to practice. I have even wondered if the class I will begin next fall will be piano lessons.

Clearing the Way

We had our 2nd shovelable snow of the season last night. It wasn't much, but by the time I'd gotten out to remove the snow it was ice underneath and snow on top. I like shoveling - I like using my body to move things and have it be something that needs to be done. I like being out in the cold and keeping myself warm with movement. 

Today I could have scraped the snow off the top and just let the ice melt itself off eventually. But, I started to get underneath it, and as time went on, with the top layer off, the second layer became easier to remove. **Warning - gross imagery ahead** It was a little like waiting for a scab to come off - for a while it's too attached, but then, one day you can peel it off because the skin beneath has healed enough. Removing the ice today was that kind of satisfying.

I have been feeling a little aimless on and off these last few months. Most of the time keeping up with the kids and feeding, cleaning, monitoring them and our home has had enough tasks. And, they are certainly important tasks, but I sometimes don't know what to do with myself. I have just enough space to want to do something, but not really enough to feel like I could dedicate enough time - or even an idea of what I might want to do or accomplish. 

Perhaps this month's dedication to writing will serve a purpose - not only of putting my thoughts down, but also figuring me - as I am now and how I want to be - out.

2021 New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Last year, a friend shared that she was doing monthly New Year's Resolutions and was asking for more ideas. I followed suite, and did okay at attempting or completing my resolutions, though not always in the correct month. I still have not attempted to make a pie crust, however.

In 2021 I resolve to:

Read 1 book/week for the year. I had this resolution last year, and if you count children's chapter books I made it. But, I don't really want to count Captain Underpants books...so without children's chapter books I'm logging in at 48. I have 3 half-way read books that I will add to 2021's list when I finish.

January: Write 5 days a week. I had a similar resolution two months last year. In June, I wrote more than usual, but less than my goal. By November I wasn't looking at my monthly resolutions, so I completely forgot it.

February: Log my food intake 6 days a week. I do pretty well at eating judiciously from April until October. Then birthdays and holidays get me all mixed up. I'm not as interested in counting calories as being mindful of how many cookies and chips I eat in a day.

March: Make picture books for David's 1st and 2nd years of life. Classic first child/second child situation here. Gabriel's baby books were not only created and printed, but sent to relatives as well. David does actually have pictures taken of him (thank you, iPhone), but I want to have something for him to page through.

April: Go through boxes of books and papers in the basement. This could be a monthly thing. But, I'll just focus on one month.

May: Write to 20 friends/family. I had a similar resolution for February of last year. It made me really happy. Hopefully it brightened other people's days too.

June: Read a new genre to me. Last year, when this monthly resolution came around, I had already been reading a lot more about black history and politics. It wasn't exactly a new genre so much as going deeper. This year, I will look for something that is a history or international politics or topic-to-learn book.

July: One-on-one time with each family member. Really, this should be every month. And, I do try. But, it helps to have it be a resolution at at time when there's less going on in our lives.

August: Look into and book a class for me. Cooking? Spanish? Coding? I don't know what I'll do, but I'd like to do something.

September: ? I'm still thinking here.

October: Write something each day. A personal e-mail to someone, an inquiry about a local problem, blog, letters or cards, private journal, or...

November: Order Christmas cards. Completed this resolution in 2020 as well. Made me feel incredibly ahead of schedule.

December: Finish up 2021 and plan 2022 New Year's Resolutions.

I look forward to seeing how I do, and figuring out September.