Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Primary Wonder - revisited

Today is a day to blog.

I started (bright and early - 7:30am) today by leading devotions at a board meeting and read the poem that is the base of this blog. It was a good way to start the day.

Two lengthy meetings, one text study and one hospital visit later I found myself at home, having already put in a 7-hour day...and wanting a beer and to be done w/ the day.

On my way back to church I dropped off some mail and so passed by the apt complex where some parishioners live - just as they were exiting on their way to church (with a bunch of cans for our recycling that earns money for the church). I gave them a lift...and from that point on thing after thing happened that meant that I got to be helpful, to assist, to be part of the body of Christ, to be pastor in a wide array of situations.

One of the people whom I've been meeting w/ every other week came by on an off week to tell me that he made some connections and has a case worker now, who is providing him with a counselor. He's got two job interviews tomorrow. He wanted to say that he probably wouldn't be back. He looked so much more at peace than he has for the last 6 months. I was happy to send him w/ blessing - and loved his grin as he walked out after the meal.

I got to talk w/ a college-aged parishioner whose family has experienced some trauma recently. I am one of very few who know about it, but she knows I know. After talking with her and offering an ear or support in whatever way, I told her that I was praying for her. I continue to tear up as I remember that she looked me in the eye and said, "That actually helps me a lot."

I helped a woman who had talked with me a year ago when she lost her husband. I remembered her once she talked to me again - but she wasn't the one that needed help. She was bringing someone else who needed help - so I helped her help someone else. We got some information, and then connected him w/ the person who helps out w/ clothing. I got to overhear the following statement said with glee: "We've got some clothes that have been waiting for a man with a 40" waist!" What a great statement!

Our cook burned himself on the stove tonight. I think he was going home to put ice on it, but I caught him before he went and mentioned that I'm sure the Free Clinic would be willing to help him out. I didn't do a lot there, but it was fun to be the connector - to see the director of the clinic leading him and tsking about the burn. And, it was good to know that it was taken care of.

Then, worship - with a gathering of people, 1/3 of which were new. The joyful conversation. The ways in which we got to share, even when people first said they didn't know what to say. The affirming welcome that was offered.

Days pass when I forget the mystery....(but) you O Lord, Creator, hallowed one, hour by hour, sustain it.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Foraging Ahead

Twice today I stayed in the moment, listened to my emotion and my gut, communicated what I needed to communicate. Once was with my evil doctor (the dermatologist). I didn't really get everything I want, but I was able to communicate clearly, and got more than I have at other times. I may not go back to him, but I will try what he prescribed this time. He is really the antithesis of holistic health, and not a great listener either.

The other was a clarifying conversation with someone who I feel I can now say is a friend. I wasn't sure how to approach the conversation, but I knew that I needed it to happen. And so I bumbled, but it was okay. And, I felt better about my friend, about myself and about the whole situation.

The path is being cut, forged through. I'm not done - there will be more situations soon where my emotions and guts need to be consulted, and clarity of words held at the same time. But, I feel good about today.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Cutting the path

I'm feeling like I'm in new territory once again. Territory where I need to trust my gut and my emotions. A path that hasn't exactly been cleared yet, although, there may be a faint path where others have gone before.

What I'm feeling a need for is a compass, something to help me to decide direction - something to clearly guide me. I'm praying. But, I will admit that I'm not so sure that crystal clarity is going to occur.

What's funny is that these themes do keep swirling around each other. It's not one thing, it's many. My task will to be to ask questions and then respond out of what I think and feel. I'm good at that first task but hit or miss on the second.

And, I wonder why I sit here on Saturday, July 4th, working on a sermon, resenting that I couldn't go out of town with friends. I want to escape decision making for a little while. To be airlifted off the path, even if I have to be dropped back again.

For the weekend, I'm camping out here - until that time that I need to start poking around and feeling my way through the forest. The path is always here, and so the tasks are not forgotten.