Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Nothing to See Here

A while ago I asked for No Drama! And, I seem to have gotten what I asked for.

I'm not complaining - at all, I just don't always have a story to tell anymore.

It's nice, but it does keep me thinking.

Part of this no-drama-ese is caused because I am no longer the one in charge. I no longer have to make a lot of decisions. I no longer solely bear the weight and responsibility for a community. I even don't bear the brunt of this weight and responsibility.

I feel different because of this. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but I don't feel as vibrant or sharp - I don't have to be. At the same time, I physically and emotionally feel more solid, less anxious. Was I beginning to develop unhealthy co-dependant tendencies? I felt more alive when I was working my way through the muck of individuals, institutional and societal problems.

There are certainly parts of me that miss the intensity of what was. There are certainly parts of me that are grateful to no longer be embroiled in that intensity.

This doesn't make for a good story - but, it's currently a chapter in my story.
I do wonder what's being planted...what am I tending...what am I preparing for? We shall see....regardless of what it is, I still wouldn't mind NO DRAMA.