A Week Like Job's

A couple weeks ago I read in my Facebook memories a post I made requesting for a calm week or year or two. I had just bought a condo, had a major stomach flu, rehabbed some of the condo, totaled a car (within a couple of days) and had the ups and downs of the colleague I had switched jobs to work with be up for election for a higher up position he did not get called into. It was a lot. There may have been more - but that does not stick with me. Except, as I think back, I also made a blog post here.

That was in 2009. It is 2022, and so maybe it's just a cyclical pattern - like a comet or hormones - that it seems like anything that can challenge me, will.

We've known our youngest child has behaved differently than we have known how to manage. And, that he responds differently than we expect. His feelings and ways he presents them to us are true, but he does not want anyone else to see them. He has often been incredibly difficult to discipline or motivate or coach or get to put his shoes on or get ready for bed. And bedtimes have been incredibly difficult. We have appointments scheduled for neuro-psychiatric testing, but they aren't until February. However, Monday night was very traumatic for Pablo, our child and myself, as our son's fight at bedtime elevated into something we hadn't experienced before. He fell asleep eventually, but it meant that Pablo and I spent time afterwards sending messages to his Pediatrician and School Social Worker and talking about what else to do.

That upheaval continued through the week - including into his birthday on Wednesday. But, it also saw some tremendous support. We had his well-visit with the pediatrician on Thursday anyway - and the doctor submitted an urgent child psychiatrist request. We're supposed to hear from that person in 2 business days. I hope to hear from her tomorrow (which will be a Monday) for an intake conversation. The pediatrician wondered aloud about Oppositional Defiant Disorder. That seems scary - but at this point the benefit of any diagnoses would be to have a specific strategy rather than just flailing around for some method of how to respond. 

His School Social Worker sent some links, the advice to contact the pediatrician and then she became a fly on the wall in his classroom. On Friday she ended up talking with his classroom teacher and they agreed that he has not shown any signs of ODD (I filled her in on the pediatrician's wondering), but they would keep an eye on it. The social worker also was so incredibly supportive (his classroom teacher has been as well with other things before this). 

And, I have leaned on some friends who themselves have had children with various emotional/behavioral challenges. Or, just friends who love me. I have been blessed by them and their responses. 

But, while this is the biggest and most life-shaping aspect of my Job-like-week, it's not the only thing. Also, I broke my glasses. I had an allergic reaction (probably due to something I ate a Christmas party on Thursday) that made my eye swell up....it is still swollen because I was trying to treat it with Benadryl. I did a teleDoc appointment last night and will have some steroid prescriptions once the pharmacy opens this morning. 

Then, apparently, when I filled up my car with gas on Thursday I didn't tighten the gas cap enough. So, Saturday as I drove out of our neighborhood, the car seized up and 4-5 warning lights went on. I pulled into a parking lot, called Pablo and we decided I would drive home before turning it off and turning it back on again. Then we looked into things in the manual and online - saw the note about the gas cap - tightened it and decided to go run errands anyway. After the first set of errands, lights were still all present and warning. But, after the second set of errands, they went off. Phew! 

I know there are many other things that could go wrong. But, this has been a hard week. There is a lot of unknown about how to best help my kid. There is a lot of details to handle to take care of each person in my family through this turmoil...that may be life-long....or just a season - we do not know. 

At some point this week I said to Pablo, "I can't handle anymore." And that was before my glasses broke, my car seized and my eye swelled up. Hah. Well, I am ready for no more drama again. That's probably not going to happen. But, I am giving thanks for those who are blessings to me in the midst of this drama. 

Quips With Substance

Interspersed with the pew pews of Star Wars play, and episodes of tantrums, David (who is 5) is able to succinctly name truths of the world. A few days ago it was, "But, I just want to do what I  want without consequences!" And earlier this Spring, as he was explaining that he does not believe in the Easter Bunny, but his older brother (who I think continues to) was arguing with him said, "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. What really matters is the Jesus came back to life."

He can be particularly defiant and strong headed and persistent. And, he is precocious - thinking he should be able to give us consequences when he doesn't like what we have done. Somehow he has decided that a consequence he can issue to me is that I will no longer "be married to Daddy" and that I have to leave the house for 5 days...except to take care of him when Pablo is working. He also sends me to my room for 5 hours at a time. I'm regularly tempted to take him up on it.

I want my big thinking, passionate little one to maintain both of those qualities. At preschool he has seemed to figure out how to navigate following rules and instructions from the teacher - in fact, much like his brother he says he "doesn't like" the kids who don't follow the rules. As he moves into kindergarten this year, I look forward to him learning more about how to operate within the structure of school and I wonder how that will impact his life outside of school.