SNOW!

We have had so much snow in the last week and I love it! Today we shoveled about a foot, and while I'm a little achy, I look forward to shoveling again tomorrow. 

There is something more fun about snow with the kids too. We're sledding down snow piles in our yard. Digging trenches and building walls to protect from snowball fights. We built two snowmen today - as target practice for the snowballs. Even just tromping through the snow is more fun. And, there is a lot of laughter.

I'm guessing I will continue to have fun in the snow my whole life, but there is really something special about the joy of snow with young kids.

The Never-Ending Parenting of Young Children During a Pandemic

I'm sure there is someone in the world who has felt fewer repercussions of the global pandemic than I have. True, I'm not able to do many things, but for the most part my quality of my and my family's life is just as high as it was before.

And yet, I want to complain. 

Another preface: I love my sweet little children. They are fun and funny, smart and precocious. They keep me on my toes and moving. They regularly express their love for me in cuddles, giggles, demands and words of endearment.

And yet. 

I so want a day or two where I don't have to make food and clean up after them. Where I don't have to make sure they aren't fighting or watching too much tv. Where I can sit down and read for a couple hours or watch something I want to watch in the middle of the day. 

But most of all, I want to have a day where Pablo and I can enjoy time with just one another. To not have to make lists throughout the day to hopefully be able to fill the other in on. To have time to casually meander somewhere - to grab some food (even if it's socially distant) without having to worry about what the kids will eat - to just enjoy each other.

We aren't comfortable with having anyone in our home let alone having someone come and take care of our kids, so it will be a while still. 

And yet...I'm so looking forward to when we can.

Piano!

 We got a piano today! For free - apart from the cost of piano movers and tuning. 

I have wanted a piano for a long time. I used to crave playing and would go into whichever church I was serving to play. I haven't had that urge as much in the past few years, but I am very excited to play - perhaps even to practice. I have even wondered if the class I will begin next fall will be piano lessons.

On Display

For Christmas I got Pablo and 3-month subscription to an at-home mystery-solving game. It's essentially an escape room at home. We conquered the first month's challenge last night (in our pjs on our bed) and it was a lot of fun. It was maybe a little more focused and orderly than other escape rooms. In those rooms I'm always trying to remember every single little detail, thinking it might be important, and I get bogged down in the details. This one was also a lot of word-games - something I have more than my fair share of experience in.

I told Pablo I was much more relaxed than usual and I do think I feel pressure when I know someone is watching - even if they are watching so they can give us a hint.

That is perhaps an okay segue to the realization I've had recently that I have felt so much less in the public eye since leaving pastoral life 6 months ago. I'm glad to have some anonymity, although my last role really wasn't all that involved. I'm not needing to figure in decisions I make based on what they might communicate to the community I work for. 

On the flip side, I am feeling a little lost in realizing that without a particular role there is not much that people will look to me to do. So much of what I've done in life has happened because someone knew me and thought of me for something. A lot has fallen in my lap - and with that comes both the ease and excitement of moving into something new, as well as the responsibility of managing that public life.

Like I said, I'm grateful that I can not be a public person right now. But, I'm also aware that there is a part of me that will always be seeking to better the neighborhood, city, state, country - place in which I live. And that when all is said and done, my skills will likely lead me to a more public role again in the future.