No More Rev

On Tuesday I got a call that didn't surprise me, but that I wasn't really expecting. Our church's associate pastor took a new call and the senior pastor was asking if I could fill in on an interim basis. At my request he named a few of the tasks that he was hoping someone would be able to fill - which if he had asked me 10 years ago I would have jumped at: preaching periodically, confirmation and Sunday School. If I were in a call I would have wanted to have other responsibilities, but to just fill in with those duties would have been fun. 

After talking with Pablo, I came to the realization that while I am immediately concerned about the amount of time these things would require, it's mostly about the fact that I'm intentionally stepping out of the identity of pastor. It's a weird and emotional thing to be letting go of the title of Pastor and the Reverend. And, I'm in the middle of that work right now. I'm preparing to, at the end of August, send a letter to my alma maters to ask them to change my title from Rev to Ms. I already am not wanting to claim any authority regarding worship or faith - although don't get me started on justice issues. 

When talking with my dear friend, Melinda, the other day, I named that presiding at sacraments (baptism and communion) are things that I miss dearly. But beyond that (and the celebration of what I have been able to do as pastor for 15 (really more like 11) years), I am not mourning the responsibilities of being a pastor. 

But those are no small thing. 

I've left a message saying I'd like to talk about the details, but I'm ultimately going to say that I will help with Sunday School as a parent. If he prefers to have someone do all three of those as a pastor, that is fine. I just am clear that I do not want to be in a position as pastor or "the Rev" anymore.