Crabby With "No"s

Ufff - I'm feeling crabby.

I was excited to go and play in the snow with my kiddos after school, but they both decided they would rather play inside. I'm sitting here with my snow pants on, waiting for at least one of them to change their minds. Pablo will be home in about 20 minutes - maybe there will be enough light for me to go snowshoe or something. 

I'm also crabby because I was just asked to be on a committee for the church I belong to. I'm crabby about this because I read what they are working on - and it's definitely a committee that's goal is in line with what I think the direction of the church should be. It's something I've worked on in each of the settings I've been in since 2005. It's something that at times I've been passionate about. But, I'm also feeling pretty burnt out and cynical about it. I know it will take a positive attitude and many cheerleaders to make it work and I don't think I have that positive, cheerleading attitude. 

Honestly, I'm burnt out on people and programs. I'm not interested in working on something that is trying to be new, innovative or even back to the basics if it involves trying to drum up support for it or with any form of trying to get others involved in it. I do not want to evangelize - anything - right now.

And, I feel bad saying no. I feel bad because it has been something I've felt strongly about. It has been something I've worked hard for in the past. But, I just don't want to. And I feel a bit like a child. Or maybe I'm just being true to what I need to be and how I need to interact with the church right now. Maybe that's not being like a child at all - but self-aware and clear.  

I'm still feeling crabby about it though.