Transmitted Traits

Gabriel has always been an early riser. And, since he's been able to get out of his own bed, has been a cheerful one. Once he's gotten me up, he will often cheerfully chat with excitement and giggles as I grunt and try to wake up. If I'm reading while he is watching tv or playing a video game, he doesn't notice, and will often talk through whatever it is he's supposedly watching.

It's those times that I feel like I can finally see my mom when I was a kid. The hopping out of bed, the mindless (and sometimes seemingly endless) chatter, the interrupting without thought to what the other was concentrating on - all things that I did as a kid - at least through middle school. And my mom trying - and almost always succeeding to be patient. To answer. To put her finger in her spot on the crossword puzzle she was working on and look up at me as I chattered. 

And, I also see me when I was a kid. An eagerness to get moving with the day - even if it's to go sit and play games (or in my case, read). A curiosity and good-naturedness that sometimes start to wane at night, but almost always pop up fresh again in the morning.

He may look exactly like his dad, but I'm in there too.

It feels a little surprising to me that these personality traits are such a mirror to how I believe I was as a kid. My dad is similar - although I'm not sure that I realized I was like him in that way when I was younger. And, I certainly do not hop out of bed with energy now (although I hope that some eagerness, curiosity and good-naturedness do show up now and again). 

And, I won't despair if he loses some of that eagerness for a bit - I know I could be a moody teenager and too cool for my family. But, I hope that even if that is the case with Gabriel, each morning still brings curiosity and a fresh start.

Follow Ups

Both Gabriel's kindergarten introduction and my mom's appointment with the neurologist went well. Nothing huge at this time with Gabriel. We are preparing for eLearning. We ordered a kid's table and chair to use as a desk for him. We are meeting one of his classmates for the first time at the park tomorrow. All will be well. It will be different, but not to him. It will be something that he and his classmates will always be able to gage time with - how they began their schooling differently than most.

My mom's appointment brought some encouraging news - that perhaps she doesn't have Alzheimer's, but aphasia. I don't really know what that means. I'm not sure my parents are altogether sure either. But, they were given some homework (foods to eat, exercise to do, games to play), which feels more hopeful than simply taking a pill.

This new normal is going to take some care - some intentionality of paying attention both to the social aspect of Kindergarten for Gabriel, and of the ways I'm might be able to support my parents from afar. 

Next Stages of Life

Tomorrow my family has two vastly different assessments. Well, three if you count that someone is coming to measure our windows for the whole-house replacement for which we've already signed the papers.

Tomorrow I bring Gabriel into his elementary school for the first time. The purpose is for an assessment that the kindergarten teachers do in order to help them balance their classrooms well. My understanding is that I will wait somewhere while he will go with one of the teachers to a classroom. There are, of course, Covid protocols of masks and distance and disinfecting that will be in place. But, this is the first time we are stepping into the school. The first real step of Gabriel representing himself without me. I'm proud of him. I'm excited for him. 

Tomorrow, my mom and dad go to meet with a neurologist. Mom has had symptoms - and then appointments and tests that indicate that she is in an early stage of Alzheimer's disease. I've known - ministered - to people with Alzheimer's, of course. But I haven't really studied it - or known much about it other than how I've related to those I served. It's now very personal and while I want to know more, I'm struggling to read either of the books I've gotten or to spend any time learning more. I will as it all sinks in.

Both Gabriel entering school (especially since we're beginning with eLearning) and Mom's diagnosis are at the very beginning of these next stages. And, I begin my time as part of the sandwich generation. Each will need me to slowly change the way I relate to them. Gabriel, as he gains more independence. Mom, as she loses some. Gabriel will need me differently - and I will need to figure out how to need my mom differently too. 

A Turning of the Tide Or the Eye of the Storm?

"I don't want to jinx it, but your boys are really well behaved." Said the nurse in the exam room yesterday. For the first time in our almost-5 years of seeing him, our doctor was running behind schedule. We were there after preschool - over the lunch hour - with both boys for the doctor to look at a rash on David (not a major concern, with nothing to do for it...but now we know).

The kids did do a very good job in the waiting room and in the exam room and as we went to get water between seeing the nurse and the doctor coming in (because David kept asking for it mostly because he just likes to operate the water cooler - but the nurse just thought he was thirsty). They were curious, and asked questions. They laughed when the nurse called David "sir" and when the doctor made funny noises. David let the pokes and prods of an appointment happen without a fuss.

We had some water spills, and at the end we had a pretty big bathroom mishap (though he was sitting on the toilet, none of the pee went in the toilet...and he was carried out with my shirt around his waist). But, the nurse was right. They were well-behaved. At a time I didn't really expect them to be.

This has been happening more and more, lately. Not quite so much that I count on it. But with enough regularity that I don't think it's a fluke. It is getting easier to parent these two rambunctious kiddos. Easier at least for a little bit...

Antidote

Yesterday was a lovely day (despite the stresses of work and world), in which I got to go to the Museum of Science and Industry with my 2 kids. They explored, they got their hands on different things (appropriately), they let me lead them to places they hadn't been before. We had a wonderful couple hours (that were also free except for parking)!

After the museum, we met up with my cousin Karin, who has a special relationship with my kids. I'm glad to have time with her too, but it was a particular blessing that she moved here to start classes at the same time I went back to work and was able to watch my kids one day a week for the first six months. I miss seeing her regularly, but both kids seem to easily fall back into trusting and loving her. As I think anyone would.

I get Thursdays alone with my kids this year. No appointments, no classes. No responsibilities to others. It's also the last year that both boys will not be in 5-day-a-week (full day!) school. So, I'm trying to get out and do things that are bit more far-flung or time consuming. Last week we went raspberry picking and then to a playground. I should maybe make a list of adventures so that we can keep it up.

Laurie Berkner

When I knew I was pregnant I went searching for new kids music to play and sing and dance with my kids. I didn't really find anything new - or danceable. The words I used to search were probably off. Anyway, somehow in the last 4 years I heard a musician named Laurie Berkner - and in this last year especially my kids cannot get enough of her.

There are some songs that both boys sing along to (David with sounds, Gabriel with words). We searched out a timpani earlier in the year because one is used in one of her songs. One of her songs begins with a countdown: 5...4...3, 2, 1 - Blast Off - which I often use to get my kids moving.

I can only handle so much of most kids music, but her music is fun and peppy and easy to listen to for hours on end. She plays a kid show at Ravinia each year, and we got to go this year. It was well worth it and I'm betting we'll go again.

I recently bought her Christmas album from about 5 years ago. One of the songs sings, "Christmas is coming..." It was on and Gabriel was singing it as we started up the stairs to get ready for bed. He excitedly turns to me and yells - "THIS SONG IS RIGHT! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!"

I am thankful for Laurie Berkner.

Gabriel's Teachers (and others)

Today Gabriel had a hard day at school. The only way I know is that his teacher stopped me when I was picking him up to tell me about it. He had two incidents where his emotions were on the surface and he had to be calmed - which may be normal at home, but according to his teacher is not normal there. In each case a different teacher was a calming, comforting presence. Allowing for his emotion, assuring him that everything was alright.

Afterwards, as I was explaining things to Pablo, I realized I wasn't positive what had actually happened in the second incident, so I sent an e-mail and was assured that everything was accidental (and in response to my concern, that it was completely fine if I e-mailed).

I am grateful for these kind, sensitive, level-headed (and fun) teachers. There are others too that have been in Gabriel's and David's lives and I'm especially grateful for a couple of David's daycare teachers as they've loved on him, made sure that all is safe in regards to allergies for him and have created a warm classroom.

While I sometimes feel jealous of other people when they're getting to spend time with my kids (that I'm paying to do so) I am so grateful for these women.

Gabriel

My baby is 4-years old today! The last few days Pablo and I have been remembering where we were at that moment 4 years ago. It's amazing to think of that tiny baby that I was just starting to get to know 4 years ago is now my smart, stubborn, funny, loving kid.

We enjoy talking and learning about so many things. High on his list of interests are Batman, dinosaurs, baseball, trains, snow, cars (cars, cars), cooking, biking and running, and stickers. He's full of compassion - but also sometimes struggles with seeing that what he is doing might hurt someone.

He loves tv - right now Ummizummi is on while I write this. But, he's not very interested in watching a movie and gets frightened by many movies that are for kids.

He pays attention to everything and will repeat back song lyrics or phrases that he heard only once or twice. He enjoys being read to - and we've started to read some simple chapter books. We had his school conferences last Monday and learned that he's right where he should be - plays independently and with imagination. Plays well with others (as well as is expected) and participates in class.

Pablo and I are so proud to be his parents. I pray that his imagination, creativity and compassion continue to grow and that I can help foster his development in various areas well. Today, a bit out of nowhere at lunch he said, "I love you mom, I love you dad." He loves - and is loved - very much.

My Children's Joy

Every single day I get to hear giggles coming from my two boys. Tickles, jokes, pure joy while running, playing, singing, dancing.

Today we got to go and play in snow as it fell and gathered on the ground. Gabriel can be mischievous as he grabs snow and launches it towards me, laughing as he does so. He gets incredibly excited sometimes and just cannot hold back a squeal of glee. He can be intense in all he does, but especially in having fun.

David is almost always good natured and really has fun if he's doing whatever everyone else is doing. He loves to jump - especially at gymnastics - and run, chasing after his brother.

These kids are just enjoyable to be around ( usually), and certain bring so much joy to each day.

Cuddletime

Almost every night I get to cuddle with Gabriel - and he will ask to sometimes when we're reading or watching tv. He definitely wants us to as he's falling asleep. It sometimes means he has a hard time when he wakes up in the middle of the night, but we're working on that.

While David has often been the better sleeper of our two kids, that hasn't been true the last few months. He's often gotten up in the middle of the night - and unlike Gabriel, who usually just wants company, David is ready to get up and go. 

Today he woke up at 5, but instead of being insistent that he start playing or watching tv, he snuggled into me and snoozed for about an hour and a half. I tried to get him back in his crib during that time, but he wasn't having it. And so, today I am thankful for cuddles with my boys.

Childcare

I was very much against sending my kids to daycare. I didn't want the germs. I didn't want my kids to feel like I was trying to get rid of them (that's my own issue, I understand that). I wanted to be the one attending to each day's emotional, physical, social and mental development. But, then....work....

My boys go to daycare (at the same place where Gabriel attends preschool and David will start in January) one day a week. These last two weeks David has had a small fever the day before, so I've had to keep him home, but daycare worked with me and I was able to bring him each of the Fridays following, while Gabriel was at preschool.

Today there is a "Thanksgiving Feast" for all the kids. Parents are invited, but I'm not going to be going. I made sure to verify that David would still have his allergy meal - so he wouldn't end up having a reaction or not have anything to eat. But, because I've taken it for granted that the meals at daycare are nut free, I didn't think about whether the catered Thanksgiving meal would be nut free until I dropped Gabriel off.

As I searched for the director to verify, so assured me that it was definitely nut free.

They have been so accommodating for us - which I would hope they would be for anyone with allergies. But, also, they have accommodated our one-day-a-week schedule. They've allowed me to switch when something has come up on our one day (as long as there has been room). Most of the teachers/caregivers are wonderful!

Although David sometimes doesn't eat much while he's there, he always seems to have a good time. His teachers report him to be happy and easy-going. When I come to pick him up he's usually having a great time (once he was still sleeping after nap - when everyone else was up, but that was one of the days he was getting sick).

Gabriel sometimes seems a little shy when I drop him off - and sometimes when I pick him up he's definitely just playing by himself, but then he reports playing with some specific kids and excited about what they do and say. And, maybe he is just enjoying what he's playing with? He also has gotten really excited when we see other kids outside of daycare, but shy when we approach to say hi.

And yes, they have been exposed to a few more germs. But, we make it through - and the next time they don't suffer as much.

I am grateful to have this good solution to our childcare needs.

Parenting Partner

Today - and every day - I am so grateful for my partner in life...and most obviously now, my partner in parenting. Many weekends, parts of Saturdays and Sundays mean that Pablo takes on the stay-at-home parent lifestyle. And, he easily navigates all that is required to care for (and entertain) our boys.

I'm especially grateful for this on Sundays. It's not easy bringing two busy young kids to worship by oneself. Especially when the other parent is up front. While it's not part of his own practice, Pablo brings the boys twice a month to worship - even as that means he essentially brings the boys for about 10 minutes of doing what most of us think of as worship - and the other 40 minutes (we have short services) chasing after the boys heading in two different directions.

I do feel that pang of wanting to sit with my boys, whispering guidance and explanation to them throughout the service. But, even as I can't be that person, I am so very glad that Pablo is up for the task of herding and parenting that makes it possible for me to do my work and the boys to grow up in the church.

Democratic Dissent

November 9th - I'm thankful for the ability to do something when I disagree with the decisions people in power make. I'm not always sure what difference my actions make, but I do feel that the right to call congresspeople and to peacefully protest matters in the big scheme of things. Even if it is just to shift the culture - slowly, but surely.

These last few years I have wanted to be part of the swell of voice calling for justice - showing that there is support behind a number of issues. But with my first responsibility to be the care and safety of my two young ones, I've not been able to show up to many events. However, the boys and I participated in their first peaceful protest on Thursday. There was a call for a rapid response to actions of our current president and many people gathered in large cities and not-so-large cities to name that his actions were not right. ("Protect Mueller" was the hashtag/theme). 

A group in our town, that I think of as being a place of privilege that means many are sheltered from the effects of injustice (which may be a completely unfair assessment), held a small rally. I'd say there were about 50 people who marched around Cook Park with signs and chanted. I didn't really talk about it with the boys beforehand - I barely knew we'd be going until we left the library hearing the group around the corner. I'm not sure what they got from it, but I'm thankful that I could be part of something.

And, I'm sure that as they get older we will have the opportunity to make our voices heard again and again.