A Lesson From Childhood That Doesn't Carry Over.

In sixth grade I was a crossing guard. I'm not exactly sure what appeal that role held for me, but nonetheless, I was one for one year. (After that year they asked me to go to crossing guard - or patrol - camp in order to become a captain, I declined and stopped being a crossing guard altogether).

One morning a fight broke out in the commons area between two boys who were each much bigger than I. I got in there and tried to break it up. I don't remember all that much of what happened then, but I do remember sitting in the assistant principal's office later that morning. She was a member of my church and it was a bit odd to have my worlds collide like that.

I remember that she was usually a very tough person, but that this morning she was more motherly toward me. I did receive a lecture though - I should not have gotten involved in that fight. I should have gone for the help of an adult.

Now I look around and I'm the adult. As I came home from work on Sunday I passed a car that was stalled in the middle of the road. No one was honking or impatient, but just calmly driving around the stalled car. As I passed I looked in and there was a man with his chin lowered to his chest. It almost looked like he was sleeping.

I drove by, made my turn, then circled the block and came back. He was still there, although now his head was up. As I pulled into the gas station I realized that the cashier was out in the parking lot, trying to both help this man and take care of any customers who happened to come.

I ran into the middle of the street and as I neared the man in the stalled car started to roll up his window. I asked him if he was alright (I wondered if he'd had a stroke or something) and he lowered the window just a crack. (Keep in mind, I had my clergy shirt on - and was wearing a necklace one of my confirmation kids gave me - a cross). The cashier came back and told me he'd been trying to help the man for some time - but kept having to go back into the store. So, we finally managed to convince the man to put his car in neutral and we pushed it over into a nearby parking lot. The cashier dashed off. I tried to see if I could help the man anymore, but he didn't seem to want any more help. I asked if he knew what he was going to do and he said he'd just keep starting his car.

I wonder how many people passed that man and did nothing. The skinny kid of a cashier and I (still not all that big - and definitely not someone who would be chosen first for any feat of strength) could have used more help.

I worry that too many people got that message as a kid that we shouldn't get involved in other people's problems. It makes sense in some ways - don't be dumb. At one point I wondered if I should offer to give this man a ride somewhere, but decided against it - it would be dumb to give an unknown (and rather large) man a ride. Don't be dumb, but that doesn't mean not to be involved at all.