Friday, November 16, 2007

Hope and Trust - blocked by fear, Springs up despite

The Fountain
by Denise Levertov

Don't say, don't say there is no water
to solace the dryness at our hearts.
I have seen

the fountain springing out of the rock wall
and you drinking there. And I too
before your eyes

found footholds and climbed
to drink the cool water.

The woman of that place, shading her eyes,
frowned as she watched - but not because
she grudged the water,

only because she was waiting
to see we drank our fill and were
refreshed.

Don't say, don't say there is no water.
That fountain is there among its scalloped
green and gray stones,

it is still there and always there
with its quiet song and strange power
to spring in us,
up and out through the rock.

This has been a difficult week. Well, really - a difficult Tuesday-Wednesday. I have not felt strong, or like a leader who knows what she is doing. I keep getting reminded by these situations that I really don't know what I'm doing and all I can do is rely on what God has given me - which includes inner strength, other people's wisdom, and a community of support.

Inter-personal things I get. Business ones I don't. And every once in a while the panic of "I don't know what to do" overrides better wisdom and trust. Thankfully, wonderful people were safe for me to express that...to be overwhelmed with and offer support and prayer.

I still don't know what I'm doing. But, I do know that I'm no longer panicking.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

don't worry about not knowing what you are doing - i am more and more convinced that there are two kinds of people - those who don't know what they're doing and tell everyone, and those who don't know what they're doing, but keep that a secret. I'm not saying you have to keep it a secret, just that you're not alone.
Peace.
From Colorado

kendi said...

glad to hear that the panic has subsided a bit, but my thoughts and prayers for you haven't. we love you!