My congregation has a weekly soup kitchen. Lately I've felt reluctant to attend...and due to not feeling the greatest this afternoon contemplated skipping. I'm so glad I didn't.
It was a bit of a rough start because I had to have one of those sit-downs in order to iron out the juvenile temper tantrum by a member who is old enough to be....well, somewhere between my mother and grandmother. This conversation went longer than I had time for...but the temper tantrum is over (and has been moved past with fantastic results).
Anyway, that's not why I'm writing. I had some amazing conversations tonight. A family that used to attend regularly, but has been MIA for the last 4 months returned, only to say they are moving "up north" this weekend. I hope it's a good move for them. They don't have it easy here.
One of our "campers" was extremely agitated and one of the volunteers rushed over to get me. I sat down with her and learned that a man who had been rifling through her belongings last night came and sat down at their table as if nothing had happened. She was pissed - and scared. We talked for a while...going through feelings of anger, fear, excitement at a relatively new relationship, talking about how to appropriately deal with the anger (which she apologized for swearing and then went on to say in the same breath "but that da** mother f***er was going through my sh**). We talked for a long time with many hugs - and many tears. I went back to my dinner and watched her from across the room as she proceeded to calmly eat her meal, then, pick up her bag and go to another table where she joined other campers.
I had barely finished my 2nd bite of food when I was interrupted by the same man who the woman accused of rifling through her stuff. He knew me (I recognized him...but couldn't recall his name). He proceeded to tell me some of what's been going on with his life...including the job he lost, the plan to do a jobs program, that he's been drinking again (which anyone would have been able to tell), and that he lost his Bible. We talked for a long time and I think I played my role well...but I hadn't thought he would retain anything. And, he might not...but I overheard him telling the doctor (our congregation has just started hosting a monthly free clinic), "Did you know the pastor here is a woman? Before I met her I had never met a woman pastor. I don't usually listen to women. My mom, my sister, my girlfriend...I don't listen to any of them. But, she's a pastor, she's got authority. I've got to listen to her. And, she knows what she's talking about." Remember, he's drunk. I'm not delusional to think I've changed his life forever...but I sat in my office simultaneously entertained, honored, hopeful, and skeptical.
The next encounter I had was with a man who just needed to talk to for a couple minutes. He didn't want anything, but he lost his job last week (due to asking to switch his schedule because he is training for another job) and will start at that new job in two weeks. He said he'll be okay, but after next week things might be tight for a little while. I'm glad he told me...I asked him if he wanted to take any canned food tonight and he said "No, not now. I might next week though."
But, the topper? A "camper" who had been attending the summer Wednesday communion service (but not taking communion) came up to tell me that his been working through some of his thoughts about God - and that I and the congregation have helped him to feel God's love. He actually said "you show God's love to so many people." and "God's love shines through you and through the others who work here." He is someone who is always very authentic in who he is...or at least has seemed to be. He's planning to come on Sunday. He hadn't wanted to commune because he thought he couldn't put God's sacrament into his "unclean" body. (Meaning spiritually, not physically).
Tears keep welling up as I think of him. When he said he was wanting to come on Sunday I emphasized that he is very welcome to come - and is welcome to come to communion. I said, "we believe that we take communion not because we are clean, but so that we might be clean. Communion is given to us - and we ask God to work within us...it's assurance that God is working within us."
"That's the conclusion I came to." He responded. "See you Sunday."
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