Ashed Together

Coming home with ashes on my forehead I had a sad realization: in my year of so many "firsts" I don't really get to share them with anybody. Sure, I call of different people here and there, but there is no one at home for me to just come home and say "hah - well, I learned what to do next year" or "that just felt so good."

I don't say this to have people feel sorry for me or to elicit any response, but just to share it. My friends and parents hear a lot of what happens. But, it takes that phone call. Meckhead, it's not quite like the wilderness you experienced that you'll be writing about, but the isolation is perhaps somewhat similar.

For now, since this is one way to relieve some isolation, I'm going to share in the blogosphere: my first Ash Wednesday as a solo pastor was very moving. I didn't have any other worship assistants prior to this evening, but people stepped up. Marking ash crosses on people between the age of 1 and 89 was amazing. Recognizing that those on the ends are closest to the dust of which we speak - as God's good creation and as the promise of the return of the earthly body to the earth. I was struck by the people who came from the soup kitchen - and the grace to look into their eyes as I marked their foreheads and handed them the body. How meaningful to touch each of these (58...we ran out of bulletins!) children of God, my hand on their heads, my thumb to their foreheads. The beauty of the church at night, and the gorgeous prelude the organist played.

But then, there's the person who runs hot/cold. There are periods of time where this person is supportive and complimentary. But then there are periods, like this last week 1/2, where the person is critical and accusatory. It's challenging to respond with consistency, but I try. I think I succeeded tonight and some of the discontent was allayed.

And then there is the "huh - I don't like it, but I'm not going to change it" parts - like the fact that the seniors have an "Ash Tuesday" (after which I removed the ashes from my forehead) and that they would like communion during every Tuesday Lenten service - but to still have each service be 1/2 an hour (minus the time it takes to get situation...I should really plan on 25). But, just because I don't want to do it doesn't mean I shouldn't. It's less work to do what they expect right now. Next year, after building it up a bit, we'll possibly change it.

So, those are my thoughts this night.