I've been a reticent poster lately, not because of desire but because of access to private internet. But now, I've got it. I just successfully set myself up (with the help of a lovely CD-Rom) with internet access in my home.
I am feeling very protective of my privacy right now which is a bit silly. I assume that most, if not all, of you reading this knows who I am...and probably knows more about me than I share in these pages. Yet, I treasure being known as Amused. I like having a code name and very little actual fact. I enjoy figuring out ways to say a specific detail in such a way that it remains somewhat ambiguous.
I'm not all that intriguing of a person - but I like the option to be. On a flight from Providence, RI with a friend I recounted that when I was flying to and fro a bit more frequently (and by myself) I would pretend that I was terrified of flying. I stopped pretending because I started to convince myself that I was and I just didn't need a phobia that I didn't have to begin with. Anyway, I would sit in my sit and steal myself for the take off and the landing, glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to my fear.
It's a bit of pretending to be someone I'm not...which perhaps has been good practice as I begin a career by pretending to be someone I want to be. I'm hoping that the same instinct that began to really feel fear as I pretended, will kick in and I'll really feel confident and like a leader.
'Til then, I'll just keep my secret, Amusing identity wrapped around my shoulders.
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