Sunday, July 03, 2005

What's wrong with me? I'm not lonely!

As I was sitting on my back porch, watching downtown Milwaukee's fireworks tonight I realized something: I'm not lonely. True, I've only been here for, ah, let's see - two weeks as of tomorrow. True, I do interact with people regularly at work. True, I greatly miss friends and family. True, I do have a friend or two here. BUT - I'm not lonely...and I am amazed.

I know there will be times that I will be lonely - if there were lonely times when I was in Chicago surrounded by many, many friends there will be times that I will be lonely here. I've always had times of loneliness even when surrounded by many close friends. But, amazingly enough, this is not one of them (either the loneliness or the being surrounded by close friends).

I am enjoying a bit of this isolation. I am enjoying the time to myself. I'm reading - fiction, non-fiction. I'm working...I don't think more than I should, but sometimes it's been hard to stop because I've been having so much fun. I'm exercising. I'm socializing a small bit.

I'm in awe of this feeling. Maybe it's different than the year I spent in Texas because I know that within 2 hours are a number of friends who have known me for some time. Maybe it's different because there are at least three times in the next two months where I know I will be spending time with friends or family who know me well...and that's all that I really require. Maybe it's different because I just moved here and the loneliness hasn't set in.

Regardless of why - I am grateful for this time to not be lonely. I just with I could bottle it up and save it for the inevitable times of loneliness in the future. (And to market it to others.)

1 comment:

Jessica said...

If you ever figure out how to bottle it, I'll be your first customer. :-)
I am so glad that you are feeling good in your new location, Amused! I hope it just gets better and better. :-)