It's one of the difficulties of transitioning to and associate position - there is another pastor who has been there for over 20 years. He is The Pastor. Certainly not an ego thing on his part, or something he strives to be over and above me. Never would I suggest that - or even think that about him. But, it is the reality.
Additionally, this congregation is much bigger. It takes longer to learn the stories of so many. It takes longer to have pastorly experiences with so many - not to mention so many who are upper middle class (to even whatever is wealthier than that). That fact sometimes exhibits the personality of not quickly sharing difficulty and heart ache.
And so - I was surprised yesterday as I started welling up while I handed out the bread. I was surprised by the importance I saw this gift taking in people's lives. I was surprised to recognize a love for them.
I also was surprised by the wonder I felt. It hasn't been the most spiritually connected transition. I haven't been at the edge of my rope very often - which is most regularly where I am immersed (necessarily) in the wonder of God.
I've been struck by the meal anew. I've been struck by the earthiness of it - the commonality of the elements - the work of creation that goes into it. I've been struck by the gift and they way in which that gift was and is given.
I really feel lucky. Not everyone gets to week after week hand out the body of Christ.
1 comment:
My impression is that moving from a solo to an associate position is kind of unusual... maybe that makes you a pioneer of these feelings. :-)
So glad you still experience the mystery. :-)
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