More than anything right now I'd like to snuggle down into my bed and read for an evening. Or, maybe I'd like to go to the Ron Sexsmith concert that a friend invited me to. Or, maybe I'd like to grab a beer with someone.
Instead, I'm sitting at home, attempting to write a grant. I have to do this because I sluffed something else off on a parishioner so that I could do this. I have to do this because it's due on Wednesday and I have a wedding, a couple education pieces, a devotion and regular Sunday morning activities to write as well.
Really, there are so many other things I'd rather be doing. Painting my toenails, calling a friend...there are about 6 that I've been meaning to call for a while now, cooking some vegetables, going for a walk, figuring out the doctor and eye appointments I should make soon, buying a gift, starting one of my 2 book club books, cleaning my bathtub, playing Word Twist (on Facebook), planning vacations, downloading my music so I can listen to it on my Ipod, wow - just now was the first pause in my writing.
I don't like who I am when I'm this busy and stressed. I don't like that I don't have as much energy to be with people or to listen. I don't like that it doesn't feel like I do anything well when I'm trying to juggle everything. I don't like that when I do finally finish something I have to move right on to the next thing. I don't like feeling always behind. I don't like that lately it's felt like my entire life is the work I do (she says, admittedly, after a weekend of a friend's wedding - at which I officiated, but it wasn't only work).
*Sigh* I need to get back to it. This was a good diversion. On to the grant.
2 comments:
Make little goals - write for an hour then paint your toes. Write for another hour then go for a half hour walk to rejuvenate. Don't deny yourself the things you want to do because of the things you have to do. The things you want to do are things you need to do for your own self-upkeep.
Of course I know this is preaching to the choir and it's always easier said than done, so I'm sorry if I sound preachy. :) Good luck with the grant!
I hear ya on many different points, most notably feeling like you do everything shoddily when you have to do too many things. But I betcha your level of quality in all of them is higher than you may think-- you're awfully competent, even under stress. :-) Also, yay Word Twist!
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