A wise friend told me last week that my church and I sound like we are at a "pinch point." From what he said, it sounds like it's the time when we are recognizing each other's weaknesses and having to determine that we are going to deal with them.
I know I've let people down in the last year and a half, and yet for some reason, it seems like right now that is happening a lot. I know I've been let down too, and I sometimes forget that. It took me relating a particular story to my mom and her saying, "well, that's kind of mean" for me to realize that, yeah, it is. I sometimes lack that perspective.
It was actually only one particular instance that seemed to pinch really hard. But, that pinch left a bruise and all of the other little pinches that usually just tickle a little now hurt.
It was good to be with family these past few days, with people who love me no matter what. People I can literally physically lean on. A place where I don't have to wonder what I'm going to feed myself or how close I am to being out of toilet paper. In some ways, a place to nurse my wounds.
My bruise is now just starting to yellow and fade. I'm still sensitive. Last Monday I shared with the council that I had been having a hard week (the week before) - it was good to figuratively lean on them - even if they don't know what all of the weight I'm carrying is - they know that I'm struggling. And sometimes that's all I need.
To let someone else know that I'm hurting.
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