Immeasurable Emotion

I was ready for adventure, for living in places that were of a different culture, people and accent. I was ready to have to fly home for family holidays and important events. But, I'm staying put.

Tonight, along with my classmates, I found out the area of the country I am assigned for my first call as a pastor. In our process we have the opportunity to provide preferences and ideas, but ultimately (with guidance from the Holy Spirit) bishops and other officials decide. I had preferenced three places, my top two choices being on either coast. I landed right in the middle at my third choice.

I am happy to be here. There are a lot of exciting possibilities and I will be closer to family. I know that a lot has yet to be decided and I trust the process and the Spirit's movement throughout.

And yet, I have to say goodbye to the dream of living out West with good friends and family. The dream of being able to visit "the mountain" on my day off. I have to give up the dream of living in the bustling East and being able to visit great cities that I've never been on my day off.

My emotions are mixed. They aren't bad or good - I can't measure them and weigh them. They just are. Jumbled with the excitement of what is to come is a letting go of what will not be.

Feline Fellowship

I hate cats.

It's not only that I'm horribly allergic to them. I don't like their unpredictability, their ability to creep quietly and their glowing eyes. I've had too many seemingly possessed cats stalk around the room quietly and suddenly streak by, leaving piles of fluff in their wake.

I've found that as I peruse the men on the web-based meeting service I subscribe to I am turned off by those who own cats and immediately become more interested if they say that they do not like them (in the section that asks which pets one does not like).

I told two close friends (and cat owners) about this tendency of mine and one came up with the following hypothesis: I am a cat.

I'm fiercely independent. Last month someone said to me "you're not very cuddly and fluffy, are you?" I'm not. I like to cuddle, but on my own terms. I'm curious - and sometimes get into things that I shouldn't. I have a lot of friends who really, really like cats. And, most of all, I don't like cats - they invade my space.

So - I think now I need to figure out how to embrace some fellow felines (without activating any allergies) and support them in their independence. I need to admire the traits that we share. Anyone have any insight on what I might discover?

Resisting the meddling urge...

I just got off the phone with my brother who visited with 3 friends the day before I left for my cruise (which was fantastic! I'd recommend cruising for others who like to relax and be entertained). I enjoyed the 1/2 day I got with my brother and his friends. I especially enjoyed talking with the sole, brave girl who came along.

In my family we have a bit of a "don't ask, tell when you want to" policy. I don't know who my brother dates because he doesn't talk about it. My sister and I are a bit more open, but we aren't ever asked in my family. But, I have the greatest urge to see if my brother is dating this very cool girl.

So, I just got off the phone with him and I said something about how she had been looking into some internships in museums in Chicago and he told me that she'd really liked me and "would want to be your friend." Now I want them to date even more. Is there any good way for an older sister to suggest this and not be too meddlesome? I've never thought before about who my future sister-in-law will be...