Packing Up

Because in-person worship will likely not happen before I finish up at the interim position I've been in for almost 3 years, I went in today to empty my office and get rid of all those papers that I've saved for reference for later (? why ?). And, in my "personal" drawer, with the sanitary pad, gum and extra crayons for my kids, I found a new breastmilk bag. I remembered that when I started this position, I was still nursing my youngest and had to close off my office around lunch time each day to pump. I remembered both loving the time without my kids hanging on me, but also missing them greatly and detesting the pump. I remembered thankfulness for the other staff in the building - all women - who never raised an eyebrow to my closed door and drawn blinds - and who were supportive of my family even as they barely saw them. A whole bunch of emotions hit me. Sadness at leaving mixed with sadness that my kids are growing. Joy at leaving mixed with joy at my kids not needing me nearly as much. Trepidation about what comes next - for the congregation, for the church, for my kids, for my professional life. It's amazing what happens in a few years, with kids, with a church (even when you're very part time), with your own frame of mind.