For some time I have really enjoyed the blog "Post Secret". It regularly makes me smile, pray, laugh, cringe, cry and identify with others.
In counseling I'm working on paying attention to my emotions - something I have learned very well how to push down. Doing this is a little frightening - mostly because I am having to learn a new balance, especially at work. Things are hitting me differently (or I'm responding to them differently) which then means I have some stronger reactions.
I teared up a week ago while teaching Confirmation - in a good, emotionally charged way. It was depth-of-my-soul stuff that we were talking about, and it hit me. Especially hearing teenagers' reactions, thoughts and questions.
I felt threatened in one aspect of the council retreat yesterday, and on further reflection realized I did so because one of the things the council discussed focusing on is something that I tried to garner support for (including from some of the people at the table)- put a lot of energy into - and that crashed and burned. But, recognizing this emotion, even if it's a little late, allows me to approach this next attempt with history and communicated expectation of involvement by others.
These are just two examples - there are many others, easy and difficult, good and bad, of how my attention to emotion is impacting my day-to-day life.
But, when I just sat down to read PostSecret today, I was overwhelmed with emotion. It was too much. I wonder if some of my attention to it has been that I feel the range of emotions as I read it. And that I needed to feel them.
But now, even though I consider it a marvelous endeavor, I may need to take a break from PostSecret.
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