Resolving Disagreeableness

I sometimes wonder if I'm disagreeable (as in disagreeing with someone...not the way I'm received, although for some it's one and the same) because I think it's honest, or because I want to change someone, or because I'm wanting to be in good relationship, or just because I'm crabby.

I feel crabby when I disagree with someone. It's against my nature. But, it's also against my nature to be dishonest. And, I don't want to be a "yes-woman." I don't respect "yes-people."

I wonder, though, how fair it is to some of the relationships I have - those in which I tend towards the most disagreeable. When someone is always disagreeing with me I get tired of it. On the other hand, I get tired if someone is always saying things with which I completely disagree.

Yet, I value diversity of opinion and of individuals. And, I value being able to share my opinion.

There could be something in this about desiring harmony and similarity - a colleague today said we tend toward the familiar. Does that mean of thought as well as practice? There is beauty in dissonance too, but the beauty is in the ache for resolution.

I wish I had a good sense of how my disagreeableness is received - especially by the people with whom I disagree most (and they haven't been invited to this blog). I wonder, if I knew people understood my reasoning, my impetus in my disagreement, if I would find some resolution. Just in that understanding.