Today I get to take it easy.
I could grab my calendar and say for sure - but it's felt like my last month has been all about fitting things in. Fitting people in - both in my fun personal life and in my meaningful work life. It's been good on both accounts - but, it's also tiring.
I have loved that I've gotten to fit in so many times to get together with friends. Some have been sad, like saying goodbye to Gail as she moves away. Some have been joyful, some exciting and new. Some a mix of the two.
I left a meeting early on Tuesday to be with friends. The chair of the meeting said "for pete's sake, don't come at all...go be with your friends. You deserve some fun time." I still went, partially because we had already made out plans for meeting up that took into account my schedule. Partially, though, because there have been many opportunities for me to totally ditch out on a work something - and I haven't done so. Also - that whole, "you deserve some fun time." Well, yes, I do - but, I've been taking it.
Work has been intensely full of meetings - one-on-one and group, going from one thing to another. That has been good too. But, next week is looking gloriously open. Of course, everything that I want to get done needs to be done by this Sunday - so that openness doesn't really help me get everything done right now. But, it does indicate an end to my chaos. Although, I am sure new chaos will start up. And honestly, I do some of my best work in chaos.
I am happy. And, I've been feeling fully me in all of these different areas. I don't feel like I'm faking it to make it. 6 months or so ago something clicked. In work, in home...with family and friends. That doesn't mean that everything has been easy. I haven't been able to be "there" for some of my friends in ways like I would have liked. I've made some mistakes in work. I've, obviously (by reading other entries to this blog), had some down times and times when I haven't felt fully sure of things.
But, even in that ambiguity, I have felt wholly me.
