Inauguration Eve

Four years ago, tomorrow's date of 1/20/2021 seemed so far away. I watched some of the Inauguration of our 45th President and knew that it was not a great day for our country, but I could not have imagined just how much evil could be done.

I don't need to list the atrocities this president has allowed and made happen. Many, likely done to promote himself or his label. Many to benefit himself or his family financially. Some, done because others said it was what his base wanted. Lives torn apart. The poisoning of our earth further hastened. A bitter divide increased. I believe that he will be known as the worst United States President in our history.

And so, it is with no small relief and joy that I get ready for tomorrow. I do not suppose for a second that our 46th President will solve everything or will not at times disappoint or even anger me with some decisions. But, I trust that he will lead with an eye for the entire country. That he has been and will continue to listen to others and will surround himself not with "yes" men and women, but with those who will work with and challenge him to best serve our country.

I am a little nervous about what will happen tomorrow. I worry for safety of those involved in the inauguration. I worry about the reaction that might reverberate throughout our country - in capitols and cities. 

My day tomorrow isn't too different than any other. But, I will raise a glass tomorrow night to our new, moral, team-player of a POTUS.

Yet Again, Aware of My Privilege

I had the conversation with the Senior Pastor today and it went very well. At one point, prior to actually talking about the specifics of how I was wanting to be involved we were just talking about the state of the world, and he said something along the lines of "You don't want to have to think about what could happen in this next week, but you also have to be prepared." He was, in particular thinking about what happens for the church if internet or banking are challenged, but I shared that I was also mindful of trying to be prepared in case it's not a good idea to leave the house for a little bit.

I truly don't think it will come to that, but it also does cross my mind. Between unrest around our country, and a new, more contagious variant of the Coronavirus, I'm really wondering about if we should make any preparations or changes to how we are currently navigating life.

And again I realize how very privileged I am to be sitting here, very comfortably, able to isolate myself and my family and not worry about how we're going to put food on the table or keep our kids safe.

Where It Comes From

It's no secret to me that my stress picks up when world events become more chaotic. Or, when I have a conversation with a particular person at work. Both happened this week. Although I try to let the conversation go, I continue to have memories of responses that I would edit if I could. I don't think I was inappropriate, I just know that this particular person doesn't always see what I'm saying, and sometimes tells other people about what she thinks is true. Add in a dash of financial stress (and a vendor who is trying to get more money for services we do not think were given) and work is not my favorite place right now.

These are the days when this role really has to be about something other than what makes me happy - or what I want to be doing. It is a call. I do believe this place is doing good, despite the challenges.

Signs of Stress

I know I'm stressed when I start daydreaming about what I would do, or what life would be like in an apocalyptic event. Or, if zombies came. Or, even if we were forced to be refugees.

Just this moment I looked down at my clothing - pajamas with a random shirt thrown on for warmth -  and thought - well, that wouldn't be warm enough, and is more colorful than I usually go.

Other times I've thought that if there was time, I'd load up our double stroller to take with us. When kids were in diapers, I'd make sure they had a bunch of diapers. When my youngest was nursing, I was relieved that at least he would have food (as long as I could get enough water).

I don't need to go into what is feeding my stress, only that this is one of those signs to me that it's level is creeping up.