The Body of Christ - With and Without Mucus

I've had a cold for a couple weeks now. It has now moved from my sinuses into my chest and I've been coughing and wheezing since Thursday. As a pastor I have a lot of close proximity to people, and Sunday mornings, especially mean shaking hands, hugging, placing the Body of Christ into people's hands. On healing service Sundays it also includes listening closely and having my hands on people's shoulders and heads.

So, this Sunday, I gave that up. I always have at least one lay person helping with the laying on of hands and anointing for healing. And both had agreed to help in today's service long ago. We were contemplating having three stations, instead of the usual two, and so it worked just fine with the two.

Instead of me serving the bread, I went and sat in the pew after presiding at the altar. I got to kneel at the altar for both the laying on of hands and for communion. I got to pray ('cause I couldn't sing) for all of the people that I usually look in the eye and say "The body of Christ, given for you." I knew what particular prayers that many of the people would ask for, and prayed for them.

It's nice every once in a while to have the place where I sit - my point of view - be turned around. It's nice to see the church in action. It's nice to not have to stifle my cough and constantly sniff worried that I'm going to spread whatever it is I have.

Also - I made this "Radicchio-Porcini Risotto" (pg 88):

It doesn't look like much, but it was very yummy. I couldn't find Porcini anywhere (looked at a number of stores throughout the week) but it still tasted good w/ Portabella. The book describes it as "Ultra-comfort food." And, it was.

The Good of It All

Well, a number of my things on my list are over and done with. A new week is beginning. I still have a cold that has been hanging on for 2 weeks - which will limit my elderly visiting, but shouldn't hinder anything else.

Cold weather and a head cold sure can bring a person down. But, there are some things that have been bringing me up.

First - my bed. It's comfortable, and I've been getting enough time in it.

Secondly, a little over a week ago, I was able to enjoy the beauty of a freshly fallen 14" of snow while Cross Country Skiing. Here are a couple pics:
Third, though it was cold, there was an attempted Karaoke party held. We missed those who couldn't make it, but still had a good time. I have some pics, but they don't do the event justice.

Finally, I have prepared another recipe for my New Year's resolution. This time it was Potato, Turnip & Carrot Gratin with Garlic-Herb Bechamel Sauce (pp 86-87). Andrew asked about recipes. I would highly recommend buying the book (The Vegetable Dishes I Can't Live Without by Mollie Katzen), but if there are one or two that you would like, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send 'em to you.

On the gratin, I could have actually done without the bread crumbs and cheese on top (but, is that what makes it a gratin?). It was really good though - and I don't think I've truly eaten turnip before.

Hope Comes in the Morning

Things are always better in the morning. They just are for me. I don't know if others feel similarly - but I get that phrase "hope comes in the morning" 'cause I tend to be more grounded...and hopeful during the day. I also am more willing to take risks at night - I wonder why that is...hmmm.

Anyway, I'm unfreaked out. I no longer feel like my life is out of control. After blogging last night, I wrote some thoughts for my sermon and then slept for about 5 hours, got up and got "hoped on" by Barack Obama and then had lunch with a friend. I have accomplished a few things on my lists (yay - the garbage is out!), have plenty more, but feel like I can take a nap (while my clothes are agitating in the washer).

Maybe they'll even be time for a movie.

Freak Out

Man it feels like there is just too much going on right now. And, my freak outs always tend to be at the times when productivity is unreasonable. (Tonight it's only 12:30 and the night before my day off- sometimes it's the 3ams before a Sunday morning.)

In my head I know that failure is not the worst option. I know that I have been accomplishing a lot and that there is just so much more work than possible for one person. But the list of things yet unaddressed is running through my head and it makes it impossible to sleep.

* A number of my homebound really need visits. I'm behind, as I have been for about a year.
* I would have like to have visited the woman in ICU today and now probably won't until Sunday, if not Monday.
* My sermon is barely started.
* Urrgh. Taxes.
* Laundry - which isn't urgent, but looking at my schedule ahead it may soon well be.
* The Christmas present that I've intended to buy and send - and the 2 Christmas cards I've intended to write and send - and the 5 thank you notes.
* I need to return some stuff to the library.
* I have a Bible Study to prepare to lead on Sunday. Haven't started.
* My council report should really be in people's boxes by Sunday am.
* I didn't call my parents today to thank them for the Valentine's treat they sent. Or, just to say I love them.
* I still have the intent to make the vegetable dishes, but haven't don't so since my last post about it. And, I've let some vegetables go to waste because I failed to make anything with them.
* My garbage really needs to be taken out.

Tomorrow is my day off - but it is already full. Of some really good things. But, I just don't know where I'll have any time. And really, I'd just like to sleep. Because I'm worked up now and the sheep seem to have left the building.

I think the freak outs come when I feel alone in responsibilities - even when it's my own mess. Each of those bullet points are things I need to handle. Sure, I'll hand off the taxes to someone else, but I need to gather it together. Yeah, if I get it in her hands soon enough, my secretary will distribute the council report, but I still need to write it.

Just by writing (and processing) I'm calming down - freaking out less. By the time I shut down the computer I might already be asleep. It just really sucks to feel this anxiety - especially when I'd much rather be sleeping.

The Right Place at the Wrong Time

There are many reasons I do what I do (obv. the big bucks and the free wine every Sunday), not the least of which is that I am regularly in the right place at the wrong time.

Milwaukee is in the midst of a blizzard. Somewhere between 10 and 14 inches have fallen today. It's beautiful, heavy, wet stuff. My dead-end is a mess - no plow has been in it at all - and I'm parked one block over (taking over a kind man's spot who helped me as I attempted to cross the street - but got stuck before I even entered the intersection).

Many churches canceled their Ash Wednesday services, but we did not. I'm from Minnesota. You don't cancel things because of a little snow. Actually, my main thought was for the Soup Kitchen - there are some people whose best hot meal of the week is our Soup Kitchen.

Throughout the afternoon I kept second guessing myself. Should we have canceled? Could we yet?

The cooks called and said they could come. Ok - it's on. Other volunteers called. Some to say they were not coming - others to say they were. People watched the news to see if we had canceled - and then called when they didn't see our name to make sure.

The organist called - plowed into his subdivision. We tweaked the service.

Slowly people started to trickle in. A handful of homeless people, but just as many volunteers. I kept reminding myself - we all need the church - not just those who seem needy.

Then, one of our homeless guys - who had been out shoveling (who had been at it all day and was yet as I left) came in with a kid saying his mom had kicked him out.

A 16-yr old who had been jumped in October - by a bunch of kids who wanted him to join a gang. His family moved into our area after that...away from the other kids. Money was tight, his mom was angry with him for disrespecting her...he recognized that it was at stressful times that he and his mom got in the most fights. This was the second time this week he'd been kicked out - and this time he had been out in the blizzard for 5 hours.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do, but I told him to come in, dry off - we would get him some food and make sure he had a place to go and stay. I had no idea where that place would be...could I put a 16 yr old up in a motel? What if all the shelters were full?

I called the emergency number and got the numbers for a couple of youth shelters. The first one was full - but they said to call back at 9 in case everyone who was supposed to show up didn't. They also gave me the number of the other shelter I had gotten. I called there and explained the situation - and Mary, the woman on the other end of the phone, was so incredibly helpful.

The youth shelter is for youth 11-17, for up to 2 weeks at a time. The catch? They need parental permission. They can house a certain number of youth for 12 hours without permission, but if that were to be the case we would want to time when he came in - so he wasn't being pushed out into the streets at 6am.

It turns out it sounded like him mom would give permission - after our Ash Wednesday service, the council president (who has 4-wheel drive) and I drove him to the house. I was relieved to see it had a number of different accreditations posted on the door - including The United Way. After making sure it was legit and he wasn't going to be kicked out in a strange neighborhood (and after giving him the church's phone number) we left him there.

I know the journey isn't over for him - and perhaps not with us involved. But, I am so thankful that we were there tonight. I am so thankful that one of our homeless guys struck up a conversation in the middle of a blizzard and invited him in. I am so thankful that there was an opening for him at the youth house. And I pray that he will received needed help.

Shroomin (and Rice Fried Vegetables)

My latest vegetable dishes: All-Purpose Mushrooms (pg 76) to be alongside the yummy soup made by Jen, Steve and Ella.

Sue joined me for Rice-Fried Vegetables (pg 122). Though, I've been eating it almost every day since.
Tonight I made a quarter portion of Creamed Spinach w/ Mushrooms (page 102).

The Weather Outside is Frightful

I'm feeling a little bit pensive. There are a few people on the street that we have a relationship with who either won't accept any more help or who we didn't connect with in order to give them more help.

It was below 0 for the second night in a row. Two nights ago we put one of our homeless women up in a motel room. I'm not sure what she did last night.

I talked Wed night with two of our campers who were all bravado about the cold and their tent and how they stay warm. They were laughing and macho - but....it's still cold.

One of our guys recently lost his apartment and has been living in his car. He's selling his plasma for money for gas for his car. I suppose that's the heating bill for him right there. I tried to give him some extra blankets, but he wouldn't accept them and said that he was okay.

Others have told me that "there is a plan" and "they'll be ok" without going into details. I know that certain options come out of the woodwork, but, I still worry.

During a 10pm news weather report in December, the newscaster highlighted how cold it was by interviewing a homeless man who had been kicked out of the mission. In my opinion it was actually done quite well - neither demonizing the man nor the mission - but calling attention to the fact that there are people who on the streets in this cold.

As a child I know I was ignorant. In Tacoma - it never got this cold. In Chicago, I was able to ignore it. Here and now, I have to admit that I am no savior...and there are limits to how I can help. I have to recognize that it's not up to me to force people to accept help or to behave in the way I would say is socially acceptable. I have to recognize it and lead others in continuing to care for people where they are.

Caught on Tape

As the last two January's have been, this is once again a chaotic time. I'm not always sure I'm going to get everything done that I need to. In fact, today...on my day off...I need to do some work. One of the things is for something I leading tomorrow morning, the other is my sermon - because of other things going on (including a fantastic concert experience in the evening) I'm not going to have time to work on it much tomorrow.

Even with all the busyness, it's still been a good month. Last year at this time a number of my folk were falling apart in different and serious ways. This year, not so much. Thank God.

But yesterday I received what may very well be the highlight of my month (it even tops the upcoming fantastic concert experience). My great-aunt sent me tapes that my family had sent to my great-grandma from 1979 until 1990. I've only gotten through 1983 so far, but it is fascinating and fun to hear us at those times/ages (including my parents - in the tapes they're just a tiny bit older than I am now).

By listening I have gained some insights - I talked fast even at a young age. I often yelled (in tune) as my singing. My parents really loved us (still do) - you could hear it in their voices as they talk to us, coaxing us to talk to "Grandma Dede" in the microphone. I guess I saw the news about President Reagan getting shot (and I think I said something about "I love him, I don't like him, but I love him" into the microphone at that....was I a Christian liberal even then??? Loving my neighbor, but not liking the president?). And, even then, I loved to make up stories (there was one about Santa Claus getting bitten by a fox).

As we're getting older it's getting to be more music performing than talking, but I do hope that those interactions continue.

Coconut-Ginger Carrots

This is "Coconut-Ginger Carrots." Page 37 of "The Vegetable Dishes I Can't Live Without."

Turned out well - I could have cooked it a little longer - but it's carrots - you can eat them either raw or cooked.

Next up - Bitter Greens with Sweet Onions and Tart Cheese.

2008 New Year's Resolution

For the last few years I have taken my New Year's resolutions seriously. Not that they've been serious resolutions, but that I've followed through - or at least made an effort throughout the year.

2006 was the year of visiting all of the bars in my neighborhood. I didn't come close, but it was a valiant effort. In 2007 I went to at least one show per month (I missed March, but more than made up for it in the rest of the year).

2008 will be the year of cooking vegetables. I received this book:That is - "The Vegetable Dishes I Can't Live Without" by Mollie Katzen. (Like my arty arrangement? Too bad I wiggled the camera.) My resolution is to make all of the recipes in the book - except for the ones with brussel sprouts (maybe I would like them if prepared in the fashion suggested in the book, but I always like to leave some wiggle room).

I have already made three of the dishes, and have the ingredients for 2 more.

Brave friends Sara and Gail joined me for the inaugural meal on January 4th in which we had "Eggplant, Green Beans, Pumpkin, and Basil in Coconut-Tomato Curry" (pg 47) and "1-Minute Spinach" (pg 106). Here are pictures from that meal:Sara and Gail before the meal...we didn't take an after picture.

The beautiful presentation (it did taste really good too).

Earlier this week I made "Roasted Beets with Tart Pink Grapefruit Glaze" (pg 15). I had never made beets before, and it was relatively easy - although, they are very red/pink and do seem to stain. Here is a pic of the beets:
So, one of the notes I should make is that I also (somewhat obviously) have now purchased a digital camera (and I love it). I was able to because of some very generous Christmas gifts - so yay!

Hope in the Land of Blog

Not only is this my first post of 2008, but it is also the 200th post of this blog.

So, what better way to celebrate it than talking about hope.

I'm feeling hopeful in so many areas of life right now. I'm hopeful at work because of some plans of actions that we will be putting into place that will provide vision and focus and hopefully continue to more solidly bring this gathered group into transformed life. It feels like we've got most of the pieces already, we just need to put them together.

I'm feeling hopeful because of the large number of people who showed up to caucus last night - and from the reports I've heard (both from people I know and those I don't) about the atmosphere. I'm feeling hopeful because of the new caucusers...and that it seems that people are getting involved....and that my generation is getting it and making a difference. It also helps that many of the younger participants are excited about Obama. The last time I remember my generation making an electoral difference was when Jesse Ventura was elected in MN....I did not vote for him and I was frustrated with his election.

I'm feeling hopeful because, although I've got a busy month ahead of me, some of the busyness includes concerts and dinners and fun. It's not all work. And it's always fun to have people around that you want to spend time with.

I'm feeling hopeful for some of my friends who have some pretty big things going on in life right now. Changes in job/family/location/outlook on life. I'm hopeful because I hear the realistic excitement and nervousness and fear - and then excitement about where this new change/event will lead. I'm hopeful because I'm getting to somewhat be along on the journey.

And, I'm feeling hopeful because I've found a way to escape the January gym - (with all the New Year's Resolutioners) - in Cross Country Skiing. Now I'm off, to go live into my hope.

Another Round

I was sent a "choose you candidate" based on issues quiz. As was the case four years ago, Dennis Kucinich would be my president. Except, it's gotten to be less and less about issues for me - and more and more about how the future president will run the country.

I scored lowest on John McCain, but I would trust him more than many of the other candidates with whom I scored higher. No, I'm not going to be voting for McCain.

I have been reminded again that there really is no one person, organization or place with whom I will agree about everything. This includes the particular congregation that I lead. It includes the denomination in which I have promised to teach and preach. It includes my family, my friends. I definitely includes presidential candidates.

I scored very similarly for the three Democratic contenders. And, I do think each of them would make a fine president...even if I don't agree with them about each and every thing. But, when it comes to trust and integrity, and who I think will best lead the country, I feel hope with Obama. I appreciate his vision and his attitude.

If Clinton or Edwards is the Democratic candidate, they have my vote. But, I do heartily believe that Obama will lead the country better than anyone else running.

A Confession

Usually when I drive through WI between Milwaukee and the Twin Cities, I tend to either scan the NPR and Classic Rock radio stations or have my I-Pod plugged in. That is what I did today on my way back home from Christmas in MN.

However, as I plowed through Western Wisconsin on Christmas Day, global politics just wasn't going to satisfy my Christmasy mood. I scanned through all the NPR and Classic Rock stations and landed on - *gasp* - the Christian stations....and even worse....the Country Music stations.

At any other time of year I move on as soon as I recognize their Christian/Country-ness. But, for one (relatively) short drive on Christmas Day, their sappiness fulfilled my musical needs.

Please don't judge me poorly for it.

How Can A Picture Tell This Story??

On Sunday we blessed boilers. Well, actually, we blessed the people who have made the boilers possible and those who will benefit from them. (Strictly speaking, we dedicated the boilers). Such an oddity, and fun in its strangeness.

There was an article in the local community free paper about homelessness, telling the story of three people who I know well. I had met the reporter while dressed as a gypsy (at the Halloween party I attended...I don't generally dress like a gypsy) and he knew about my church's Soup Kitchen. He called about a month later saying that the paper was wanting to write an article about homelessness in our neighborhood. He asked if he could come and talk to some people at the Soup Kitchen. I said I would ask some specific people - and they were willing and happy to talk about their situation with him. The article was well done, really long, and told an honest story.

Yesterday, God knocked on the church door a few times...but most strikingly in the form of two individuals who entered within 1/2 an hour of each other. One who wasn't intending to ask for a handout, but who was invited in and was in need of a specific thing that we had plenty of, and another who stopped in to share some wealth...in the form of cash.

Today, I am brokering a snow removal deal between a member of the congregation and a homeless man.

When my mom's side of the family gathers together we are supposed to bring a picture of something that tells a story about our year. I'm not sure where to start...if this less than a week, what does a year look like?

I might just see if I can get a picture of myself in front of one of the new boilers. I'd love other suggestions.

Yet Another Way My Secretary Rocks!

The Senior Center is closed this morning due to an ice storm. The director called me at 6:45 to let me know.

We have a brand new phone system at work. While I have learned how to check my messages, I guess I wasn't really listening when they were telling us how to change messages. So, after receiving the news of the closing I called and got into one of the menus of the phone system but could not figure out a thing.

I hung up, resolved to get ready and go over to church right away in order to change the message so little old ladies weren't breaking hips in an effort to get to the center. Not 1/2 a minute after I hung up, my secretary called to say that she was changing the message.

I really wish we paid her well. Regardless, I am so thankful for her.

Change of Plans

Well, Andrew and Moe, thank you for the information about cameras. It is now unlikely that I will be purchasing one anytime soon. Instead, I have purchased a new hard drive and a new windshield.

Separate issues.

Both costly.

The biggest pain is that I have been deficient in saving things from my computer anywhere else but the hard drive. So, I unfortunately lost quite a bit.

Such is life. And, I'll be smarter the next time.

Bleh.

Shutterbug

When I first started working I made a list of things I wanted to purchase that I had put off during my volunteer and school years. Big ticket items = a bed, a car, an I-pod, a CD player for the car (to which I can attach my I-pod), a DVD/DVR player, and hmmm...I feel like there was something else....anyway - all of these have been deliberating researched and purchased in the last few years.

I have been without a functioning camera for about 3 1/2 years now. Maybe more. I love taking pictures, and am actually pretty good at it (thank you 4-H). Important to me features include the ability to zoom in and out, different lighting options, a timer (to be able to set the camera to take an inclusive group shot), durability (I am a little clumsy), and probably a fairly good sized memory...since I'm looking at digital.

Anyone have any recommendations?

Also - I'm trying to decide - do I attempt to purchase the camera now - during holiday sales? Or wait until after Christmas...with post-holiday sales, but perhaps not the greatest selection?

Code Resentment

Every once in a while the very first conversation I have in the morning is with the voice from the church's alarm company. The alarm can go off for a number of reasons - usually because someone either forgot or mis-typed their alarm code (there is a little bit of time and a few chances...but for some reason this alarm pad intimidates a number of my members).

I'm the 4th on a list of people to call....and the alarm company is supposed to call until they get a live person. It seems that every time they call, however, all of the other 3 are out of commission. (Of course, they don't call me if one of the other three gets called...but, the others haven't mentioned receiving calls).

On a side note - it's like we're those guardians of the grail in the book The DaVinci Code. Although, it's much less dramatic and romantic - we are merely the four guardians of the alarm system.

The alarm went off this morning - in the office. I looked - no doors were unlocked (and if it had been a person, it would have also registered whichever method they entered the office), no big disturbances.

I'm aware that I'm feeling a little resentful that I had to rush around to go and police the building. So, I decided that I just needed to take it as a reason to go and buy myself an already- brewed cup of coffee from the cool local coffee shop. If this doesn't work....perhaps I'll need to find some chocolate.

Dress Me in Corduroy

I recently found a wonderful corduroy jacket on sale for $20. I love it. I wear it all the time. I also regularly wear 3 pair of corduroy pants - and one long corduroy skirt (individually...not at the same time).

My dilemma comes when I wear one of the pairs of pants or the skirt and I want to put a light jacket on.

Is there ever too much corduroy?

Should I avoid the corduroy jacket when I'm wearing one of the other pieces of corduroy?

When we had the search for the new secretary (by the way - my secretary kicks ass!) I was prepared to mourn the fashion relationship I'd had with my last one. Turns out, my current secretary (who...did I mention kicks ass!) has some good fashion sense as well. I have yet to pose the corduroy question to her though. I'll have to do that next time I wear the two corduroys together. I missed my opportunity today.

Any fashion advice from peanut gallery?

Hope and Trust - blocked by fear, Springs up despite

The Fountain
by Denise Levertov

Don't say, don't say there is no water
to solace the dryness at our hearts.
I have seen

the fountain springing out of the rock wall
and you drinking there. And I too
before your eyes

found footholds and climbed
to drink the cool water.

The woman of that place, shading her eyes,
frowned as she watched - but not because
she grudged the water,

only because she was waiting
to see we drank our fill and were
refreshed.

Don't say, don't say there is no water.
That fountain is there among its scalloped
green and gray stones,

it is still there and always there
with its quiet song and strange power
to spring in us,
up and out through the rock.

This has been a difficult week. Well, really - a difficult Tuesday-Wednesday. I have not felt strong, or like a leader who knows what she is doing. I keep getting reminded by these situations that I really don't know what I'm doing and all I can do is rely on what God has given me - which includes inner strength, other people's wisdom, and a community of support.

Inter-personal things I get. Business ones I don't. And every once in a while the panic of "I don't know what to do" overrides better wisdom and trust. Thankfully, wonderful people were safe for me to express that...to be overwhelmed with and offer support and prayer.

I still don't know what I'm doing. But, I do know that I'm no longer panicking.